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Janine Miller

Creating internal safety: a guide for healing from complex trauma

Dealing with complex trauma can feel like an endless storm, but creating a sense of internal safety can help you find calm within the chaos. Trauma can leave us feeling scared, vulnerable, and alone, but you have the power to build a safe space within yourself. Let’s explore how you can start this healing journey, step by step.


Understanding complex trauma


Complex trauma often comes from repeated or long-lasting exposure to stressful events, especially during childhood. This can include things like abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence. The effects of complex trauma can be profound, impacting your emotions, thoughts, and relationships.


What is internal safety?


Internal safety means feeling secure and at peace within yourself. It's about creating a mental and emotional environment where you can thrive, despite the turmoil you've experienced. Building internal safety helps you manage your emotions, feel more grounded, and develop resilience.


Steps to create internal safety


  • Recognise and validate your feelings:

Acknowledging your emotions is the first step. It's okay to feel sad, angry, or scared. These feelings are valid, and they are a part of your healing process. Try journaling to express what you're feeling. Writing it down can help you make sense of your emotions.


  • Develop a self-care routine:

Self-care is crucial for healing. Regular self-care practices can help soothe your mind and body. Whether it's taking a warm bath, reading a book, or dancing and singing, find activities that make you feel good and cared for. Aim to regularly do things that bring you either joy or relaxation, or both.


  • Create a safe space:

Find or create a physical space where you feel secure. It could be your bedroom, a cosy corner in your home, or even a favourite spot in a nearby park. Surround yourself with things that make you feel calm and happy, like soft blankets, calming music, or pictures of loved ones.


  • Practice mindfulness and grounding:

Mindfulness and grounding techniques help you stay present and connected to the here and now. This helps your brain to be less focussed on feelings about the past or the future. Simple practices like deep breathing, feeling the texture of an object, or focusing on the sounds around you can help you stay grounded.


  • Set boundaries:

Learning to say no and setting boundaries is essential for your wellbeing. This might mean taking a break from social media, limiting time with people who drain your energy, or setting aside time for yourself each day. Your needs are important, and it's okay to prioritise them.


  • Seek support:

You don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can support you. Talking to someone who understands can make a big difference. Look for support groups or online communities where you can share your experiences and connect with others who have similar stories.


  • Embracing your strength:

Healing from complex trauma is not easy, but you are stronger than you know. Every step you take towards creating internal safety is a step towards reclaiming your power. Remember, it's okay to take your time. Healing is not a race, and it's perfectly fine to go at your own pace.


Conclusion: Taking action


Now that you have some tools to create internal safety, it's time to put them into action. Start by choosing one or two steps that resonate with you and incorporate them into your daily routine. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem. Each positive change is a victory on your journey to healing.


Remember, you are not alone, and you are deserving of peace and safety. Embrace your journey with compassion and patience, knowing that every step you take is a testament to your strength and resilience. You have the power to create a safe, nurturing space within yourself where you can heal and grow. Keep moving forward, one step at a time.

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